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@altphoto@lemmy.today

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The first quantum computer to break encryption is now shockingly close⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Shit! How did you figure it out! Damn! I gotta change my bank account which has the $$ and my front door which is the original $$! That was too simple. But just wait for me to add all the Simpsons episodes en español! $ tada ta ta dara, ta ta tata da daaaa, tada DA data…taxa da daa!$ they’ll never figure that out!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The first quantum computer to break encryption is now shockingly close⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Darn! LOL! In this one Moses is going to pee in the river to make them come apart! Nobody’s gonna figure that one out! I’m so clever!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The first quantum computer to break encryption is now shockingly close⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Here’s my new password… “In the beginning god created Adam and E…5 years later…oxygen atoms can have a 1s^2, 2s^2, 2p^4 electronic configurati…8 years later…the fifth string on the guitar instrument is again an E…0987654321##$$&” it’s pretty secure!

  Hey you still there? I am interested in the alibaba product! Come back! C’mon! I’ll copy paste it! I won’t sing it again! I promise!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Federal cyber experts called Microsoft's cloud a "pile of shit," approved it anyway⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  LOL! That’s exactly what I call Microsoft products! It’s just a big steaming pile of shit.

  So many things stay broken from one version to another. So many “fixes” related to stealing our data or monitoring what we do or charging us more. Yeah, its a pile of shit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft May Remove Windows 11 Online Login Requirement⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Nah, keep it. Looks good on y’all! Just keep that OS far far away from my computers.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Google gives Android users a way to install unverified apps if they prove they really, really want to⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Here’s a bike…you really wanna ride it? C’mon step on the pedals! Butt on the seat. Left hand goes on the left handle, right hand on the other handle. Okay! You’re doing great! Wait for two weeks to see if you still want to ride a bike. And write me an essay about it. Close your eyes and open your mouth… Wider…wider…feel anything? Ok narrower! Narrower… Anything? A Worm!!! How insulting! No bike for you!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft is ending the Windows Update nightmare — and letting you pause them indefinitely⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t care!

  Hey pets mart is not shooting small puppies in a bucket anymore! This is great! Let’s go buy from them!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ChatGPT’s ‘Adult Mode’ Could Spark a New Era of Intimate Surveillance⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  …i will not engage in sexual conversation with you, but you could arrange the dildos as a way of entertainment!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Try Tab Notes in Firefox to leave a note on any page | The Mozilla Blog⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  If we could share those notes publicly that would be awesome!

  Home depot - this branch sucks, the plumbing guy is new and the electrical guy is always organizing boxes and complaining about how you mixed parts from one box into another. Also won’t take my return and had my uncle deported.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Apple will reportedly bring ads to Apple Maps soon⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Chevron with Tekron! (Whatever the fuck Tekron is) $17.89! A gallon! Coming this June!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft rolls back some of its Copilot AI bloat on Windows⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  hides

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Intel's Heracles chip computes fully-encrypted data without decrypting it — chip is 1,074 to 5,547 times faster than a 24-core Intel Xeon in FHE math operations⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I found 3 comparables near my apartment. Same street and everything. One has a backyard and fully grown trees. Does the Heracles come with washer and dryer? What kind of mortgage loans are they accepting?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨US state laws push age checks into the operating system⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That, if implemented, will be the most stupid move oir government has ever made. They want to turn a nation of admins into a nation of users. A user the can’t setup their own computer so they gotta sign up for a monthly rent to a data center. That’s what they want. Just users.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft Copilot to hijack your browser... for your own convenience⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Employee JSmith is slacking off again!

  But not just this…

  Employee Jsmith has spent 80hrs this month looking for a furry suit on eBay. He likes used ones as a kink of his. He talks with Stacie James the most of all other employees even though they’re not together on an assignment.

  Do you want to know more?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨System76 on Age Verification Laws⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Wow, that’s a refreshing take on this whole stupidity. AI can identify us anyway, leave us alone!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft Copilot to hijack your browser... for your own convenience⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s because copilot is a snitch for your boss.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Samsung TVs to stop collecting Texans’ data without express consent⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh we’re sorry to have so many photos of you having sex. We won’t tell you anymore.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Charter gets FCC permission to buy Cox and become largest ISP in the US⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That van has big cox on it! I hope they show me their big cox.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft sets Copilot agents loose on your OneDrive files⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Time to upload the Epstein files onto one drive!

  C’mon do it!

  Teach the big machine that all the billionaires are pesos.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨QWERTY Phones Are Really Trying to Make a Comeback This Year⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  And no AI?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨US | Verizon to stop automatic unlocking of phones as FCC ends 60-day unlock rule⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I thought they wanted me to buy a phone. Fuck AI and fuck locked phones.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨RAM may be abominably expensive, but hey, at least SSD prices are also exploding⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Or living under a bridge. Also an option.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Google Classroom's new tool uses Gemini to transform lessons into podcast episodes⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  So that Google can claim that we don’t need teachers.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Global outrage as X’s Grok morphs photos of women, children into explicit content⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Let’s go beyond the 12" penis. What else?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Global outrage as X’s Grok morphs photos of women, children into explicit content⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  What about a puppy? Can it make puppies pornological?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mosquitoes' stabby suckers may find use in high-res 3D printers⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Pervert meets engineer… Hours later…it still hurts man!.. Yeah but check out the print quality! Who knew a penis could print a house!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨AI data centers may soon be powered by retired US Navy nuclear reactors from aircraft carriers and submarines⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  And all the brave men and women of the various branches of the armed forces can just dance and juggle for the mighty king! Yey!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Google will finally allow you to change your @gmail.com address⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  O

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Latest Steam Deck update will warn you if an Xbox controller needs upgrading⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve run out of mouse clicks for the month!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Latest Steam Deck update will warn you if an Xbox controller needs upgrading⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Warning! Shoot the thing!