If they call me from their cell phone, sorry kemosabe but I don’t know your number and don’t answer phone calls from random numbers I don’t know.

“Hey I ordered 2h ago where the fuck is my food?”

“You forgot to put your apt #, or fatfingered your address, or we otherwise had a problem with the delivery, and as is customary since the dawn of the cellular phone the driver attempted to contact you 1h 30m ago, but since you didn’t answer we were left to assume you no longer wanted your order or would call back eventually. Would you like us to send our driver, who now hates you for wasting his time and knows you won’t tip him for both of the deliveries you made him take?”