One time when I was a teenager I ate 10 pre=-packaged chicken corndogs and my burps were lethal from 30 feet away.

Between the cornbread, chicken and cola I drank for that one meal…I created something horrifying in my stomach.

And when the burps stopped…there was calm before a storm…of terrible farts that went on all night. I was waking up every 10 minutes to unleash a vaporized demon from my anus and going to the toilet every hour to unleash a liquid one