As a good exercise for personal growth, you should ask yourself why seeing that gives you the heebie-jeebies.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It was a love story and it was touching. I had to look away during the intimate scenes as watching gay stuff gives me the heebie jeebies.
FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Liz@midwest.social 7 months ago
Eh, I think it’s pretty clear that some amount of homophobia is innate as much as homosexuality is. Some people just plain find it gross. As long as they respect everyone’s right to have their own lifestyle, that’s really what tolerance and getting along is all about. We can’t except everyone to like everything, so we should be proud when they put up with harmless things they don’t like.
Zehzin@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I wouldn’t say innate, that makes it sound like humans are both homophobes.
Unavoidable when you’re raised in a homophobic society.
jpeps@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I don’t think the argument has been phrased well by anyone but there is possibly something to it, it’s just that ‘heebie jeebies’ is a really loaded and unhelpful phrase. I think a lot of people insert themselves into the media they watch, so if they are not sexually or romantically interested in men, watching two men kiss may not be a 100% positive experience for them, in the same way that watching two straight people kiss might not be the most engaging experience for a gay person.
Liz@midwest.social 7 months ago
I did actually choose innate intentionally. While I’m sure trying to prove it would be an absolute bitch, it’s not unreasonable to suggest some people’s homophobia can be innate in the same way homosexuality or asexuality can be. Some people are just built that way.
In any case, I think the mechanism is somewhat irrelevant when it comes to my point. If you think something is disgusting but you know it’s fundamentally harmless, well, learning to get along is what it’s all about!
FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I don’t disagree and I’m not trying to shame or put anyone down, my point is just that it’s productive and enlightening to learn these things about ourselves when we can. For me at least, it helps me improve in areas I find myself lacking, and meet other people where they are when they see things differently than I do.
Liz@midwest.social 7 months ago
Excellent point!
Goblin_Mode@ttrpg.network 7 months ago
Well said. I think it’s important to analyze your own prejudices so you can grow as a person; but so long as you accept that they are your own personal views and, most importantly, remain respectful of others, it’s not doing any real harm
lukewarmtuna@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You are a weak person
Zehzin@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Yeah, watching anyone making out gives me heebie jeebies but I still stare at them to assert dominance
z00s@lemmy.world 7 months ago
ಠ_ಠ
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You are what’s wrong with “progressive” or “left” or lgbt friendly circles. Fuck your judgement, ylu pathetic asshole. Public displays of affection give MANY people the heebie jeebies, regardless of gnder, you judgemental prick.
JustUseMint@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Based.
lukewarmtuna@lemmy.world 7 months ago
A love story without affection sounds hollow. The original comment specifically singled out an expression of affection displayed by gay characters in a romance story, they did not say in their original comment that public affection in general is what bothers them. That led me to believe they have some homophobic feelings in their original comment, which is where my response came from. With either original intention, be it a distaste for love stories or homophobic origins, you’re quite aggressively upset. I suggest maybe you don’t watch love stories if you don’t like public displays of affection, just a thought.
MotoAsh@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You are the one coming in here and being hostile. I’m just giving in kind. People don’t have to have personal issues to not want to stare at others making out.
You are just further showing how judgemental without thought you are. You have failed to mature and fundamentally understand that others do not have the same perspective as you.
Shame on you for pretending to have the high road.
Ifera@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Honestly, thanks for still watching it anyway. Don’t know why you are getting downvoted. If it was a touching love story about morbidly obese people, I would get the same heebie jeebies.
You are part of the change that needs to happen in the world, we can’t help what makes us feel queasy, but you both respecting their performance, the story AND your own sensibilities IS how we achieve progress.
Proud of you, no sarcasm.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Thanks :) I wouldn’t consider Offerman morbidly obese, just chonky.
Liz@midwest.social 7 months ago
CHONKY
nonailsleft@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Watch it again, this time keeping in mind it weren’t real strawberries anyway because Hollywood
teejay@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’m sorry you’re getting downvoted. You’re allowed to like things and dislike things, as long as tolerance and respect are given for others’ choices. It seems like you’re doing that here.
Acceptance for something you like and enjoy is pretty easy and natural. It’s a bit harder, and takes more thought and courage, to show respect and tolerance for things you don’t like and don’t enjoy, but you accept them anyway because it’s the right thing to do and it’s a part of being a human on this planet with billions of other humans. Grow up, lemmy.
z00s@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Very well said, I agree.
OP was being honest without being derogatory. It sounds like perhaps they may have experienced some personal growth from watching the episode.
If OP hasn’t been around gay people who openly express physical affection, they may have felt initially uncomfortable. But that’s why representation is important.
That’s why movies, TV, books, and visual arts are so important to us as a culture and as individuals; exposure to new ideas helps us grow and become better people.
JustUseMint@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Agreed. Well said.
Goblin_Mode@ttrpg.network 7 months ago
I originally had it downvoted, but you’re right, they aren’t being directly disrespectful. Besides, saying it was a touching love story first and foremost is evidence enough that OP isn’t an asshole, just a human with human opinions. I apologize and rescind my previous judgement.
That being said… Getting the “heebie jeebies” from watching 2 dudes kiss is a red flag that OP has some deep rooted homophobic views/tendencies, which is absolutely something they need to address in their own time. Maybe not here, on the internet, in front of several thousand schmucks making dick jokes; but if that’s how it has to be in order to bring OPs attention to it, then so be it.
I’m all for having your own opinions, but if a same sex couple being romantic grosses you out while a heterosexual couple doesn’t, that feels like something you should do some soul searching over lol
teejay@lemmy.world 7 months ago
That is awesome, and so rare in online discourse. I really appreciate that.
You kind of lose me here. I think it’s not my place to judge someone whether they like or don’t like observing homosexuality. If they’re respectful, and show tolerance and acceptance, then whether they like it is not really my concern. It’s certainly not my place to judge whether they have ‘soul searching’ to do. I agree that saying it gives them the “heebie jeebies” isn’t the most respectful way to say they don’t care for it, but on the scale of ways to put that, it’s way, way down towards the harmless end. In my opinion it certainly wasn’t egregious enough to warrant the absolute avalanche of downvotes and judgement that person was getting.
You’re already showing incredible empathy and the ability to be self-reflecting. I encourage you to stop judging others for saying they don’t like the things you think they should like. Instead, we should hold each other to the standard that we are respectful and tolerant of others whether we like what they’re saying and doing or not. Unless, of course, that tolerance is of those who express intolerance, but then we’re squarely in Paradox of Tolerance territory and that’s a whole other thing.
JustUseMint@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Character arc, the good ending lol
Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Eh… I regularly watch gay porn and have no trouble seeing guys suck dick and fuck eachother but I skip past the kissing scenes because I just don’t like it at all. I genuinely can’t explain why.