You are not going to believe this! I have a great bridge, sturdy bridge, fantastic bridge actually. The government wants to tear it down because I don’t have the $100 dollars to fix a minor problem. You know how it is. Avacado toast price just keeps going up…

Point is, I could sell you this bridge. It’s in your neighborhood, and it normally has a value of 1 million dollars. I’m just looking to get rid of it. So I’ll sell it to you for $100. This sale isn’t meant to be public, so don’t tell anyone, otherwise they might offer me more money. And this sale is just for you! Because I like you…