Gold medal answer
When you forgive, you set someone free. And that person is yourself.
Comment on How to stop thinking about an interaction from my past?
crashfrog@lemm.ee 11 months ago
You’re not going to like it, but the way you get over and past something like this is forgiveness. You have to forgive the pretentious twat who had the temerity to speak to you that way; you forgive him because that’s how you eliminate his power over you. You forgive him because that’s how you pull out the hooks. You forgive him because the alternative is, what? Carry this around in you forever? Find him and beat the shit out of him?
Just forgive him. Ultimately, he didn’t have your gifts - the gift of grace, the gift of the expansive generosity of spirit that leads a person not to construe literally every social encounter as “which one of us is coming out on top? It better be me.” The gift of not reflexively being a shithead to people, maybe. Whatever. You almost pity him. Almost.
Forgiveness is how you get past it. People don’t like to hear it, but it is.
detalferous@lemm.ee 11 months ago
PhantomAudio@lemm.ee 11 months ago
as someone that struggles with mental health, i am always on the the lookout for new tools to add to my collection. this one, lomg pause, this one hit really hard and very deep.
ive heard the forgiveness strategy put many different ways. this is simple and to the point. thank you
mrcleanup@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I mean, yes, but they also need to forgive themself for not better understanding the situation and being better able to respond to it. We often blame ourselves for being vulnerable to the abuses of others.
crashfrog@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Sure, if that’s what OP is grappling with. I didn’t read a lot of self-recrimination into their message, but if I was mistaken, then sure - the most important forgiveness is what you offer yourself.