Comment on Court rules Gabe Newell must appear in person to testify in Steam anti-trust lawsuit

• Excrubulent@slrpnk.net ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I mean the simple response from the lawyer is, “Objection, relevance,” and the question gets tossed out.

  I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.

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  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “Objection, relevance?”

    “Public interest.”

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    • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Ah, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION]

      “Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer.”

      “Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt.”

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      • setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        “Bailiff, seize him.”

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      • Omniraptor@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        This is how we win

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      • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Lmao this is great

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• Socsa@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Gaben will then slowly drop his head and whisper into the microphone with a wry chuckle - “You fool. You have just activity trap card.”

  Immediately, the Half Life 3 release will drop. Gaben has been holding it back, continuously updating for decades, awaiting exactly this moment. The judge, completely flabbergasted at the proceedings will immediately declare a mistrial. Legal scholars will then study the “Gaben defense” for decades.

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• BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  No comment.

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  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Does “no comment” count as an answer?

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