“There is no Half-Life 3, there will be no Half-Life 3.”
Comment on Court rules Gabe Newell must appear in person to testify in Steam anti-trust lawsuit
ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
They get him on the stand and the judge says " so Mr Newell, remembering you are under oath, when is Half Life 3 being released?"
TheBat@lemmy.world [bot] 7 months ago
Igloojoe@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Half life alyx was hl3
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 months ago
Forget HL3; where’s HL2: Episode 3? I wanna know what the fuck happened to that garden gnome I carried all the way from the beginning to the rocket at the end.
altima_neo@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 7 months ago
*Gabe starts gesturing to his lawyer to do something*
“Just answer the question.”
Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
I mean the simple response from the lawyer is, “Objection, relevance,” and the question gets tossed out.
I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 7 months ago
“Objection, relevance?”
“Public interest.”
Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
Ah, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION]
“Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer.”
“Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt.”
Socsa@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Gaben will then slowly drop his head and whisper into the microphone with a wry chuckle - “You fool. You have just activity trap card.”
Immediately, the Half Life 3 release will drop. Gaben has been holding it back, continuously updating for decades, awaiting exactly this moment. The judge, completely flabbergasted at the proceedings will immediately declare a mistrial. Legal scholars will then study the “Gaben defense” for decades.
BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 7 months ago
No comment.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Does “no comment” count as an answer?