thefartographer
@thefartographer@lemm.ee
- Comment on Indestructible quartz crystal can store 360TB of data for billions of years 3 weeks ago:
Edit it again! Put me in the comment!
- Comment on Indestructible quartz crystal can store 360TB of data for billions of years 3 weeks ago:
Plot twist: it destroys your child. Not physically, morally.
With these new infrastructure powers, your child enslaves the entirety of mankind. Forced to adopt a bewildered child’s point of view, humans spend all day with their families and friends, get ample sleep, share food and housing, laugh, cry, and find unbeatable protection just by being near those they love.
People love and lift each other to new heights of unshackled peace. Sciences and arts flourish and humanity enters unprecedented phases of discovery, health, and empathy.
But because your child is the villain of this story, all the politicians and capitalists declare war on your indestructible child. They all lose and die. The villain wins. Everyone celebrates.
The end.
- Comment on Ireland's privacy watchdog ends legal fight with X over data use for AI after it agrees to permanent limits | TechCrunch 5 weeks ago:
He broke his word before they finished signing their agreement
- Comment on Here’s your chance to own a decommissioned US government supercomputer 5 months ago:
Fuck they, run Doom on it
- Comment on OpenTable is adding your first name to previously anonymous reviews 5 months ago:
Everything tastes like ass
- Fart 🍆
- Comment on Elon Musk says his posts did more to ‘financially impair’ X than help it 5 months ago:
“You have said the actual truth”
- Comment on Judge Slams Elon Musk For Filing Vexatious SLAPP Suit Against Critic, Calling Out How It Was Designed To Suppress Speech 6 months ago:
SLAMMED!!!
Then the judge dunked over Elon, licked their finger, and swirled it around in Elon’s latte macchiato. Finally, they lunged at Elon, who flinched, and then punched him twice for flinching.
- Comment on After appeal to Musk, X suspends accounts that outed neo-Nazi cartoonist 6 months ago:
That’s it! You can’t use my X anymore!
- Comment on Pornhub shuts down in Texas to protest age verification law 6 months ago:
Confirmed. I’m not sure if I’ve ever visited pornhub before, so I can’t confirm it wasn’t already like this. Also, the American flag icon at the top of the message isn’t particularly comforting with this kind of online monitoring that feels so foreign…
The message:
Dear user,
As you may know, your elected officials in Texas are requiring us to verify your age before allowing you access to our website. Not only does this impinge on the rights of adults to access protected speech, it fails strict scrutiny by employing the least effective and yet also most restrictive means of accomplishing Texas’s stated purpose of allegedly protecting minors. While safety and compliance are at the forefront of our mission, providing identification every time you want to visit an adult platform is not an effective solution for protecting users online, and in fact, will put minors and your privacy at risk. Attempting to mandate age verification without any means to enforce at scale gives platforms the choice to comply or not, leaving millions of platforms open and accessible. As we’ve seen in other states, such bills have failed to protect minors, by driving users from those few websites which comply, to the millions of websites, with far fewer safety measures in place, which do not comply. Very few sites are able to compare to the robust Trust and Safety measures we currently have in place. To protect minors and user privacy, any legislation must be enforced against all platforms offering adult content. Unfortunately, the Texas law for age verification is ineffective, haphazard, and dangerous. Not only will it not actually protect children, but it will also inevitably reduce content creators’ ability to post and distribute legal adult content and directly impact their ability to share the artistic messages they want to convey with it. The safety of our users is one of our biggest concerns. We believe that the only effective solution for protecting minors and adults alike is to verify users’ age on their device and to either deny or allow access to age-restricted materials and websites based on that verification. We call on all adult sites to comply with the law. Until the real solution is offered, we have made the difficult decision to completely disable access to our website in Texas. In doing so, we are complying with the law, as we always do, but hope that governments around the world will implement laws that actually protect the safety and security of users. We encourage you to: Learn more about device-based age verification* solutions that make the internet safer while also respecting your privacy. Contact your representatives and demand device-based verification solutions that make the internet safer while also respecting your privacy. *Device-Based Age Verification refers to any approach to age verification where the personal information that is used to verify the user’s age is either shared in-person at an authorized retailer, inputted locally into the user’s device, or stored on a network controlled by the device manufacturer or the supplier of the device’s operating system. Whether through pre-installed content blocking and filtering software, the disabling of web-browsing permissions, or other means, the user will then be prevented from accessing age-restricted content over the internet unless they are age-verified. To come to fruition, such an approach requires the cooperation of manufacturers and operating-system providers.
- Comment on Intel’s 6.2 GHz Core i9-14900KS is a reminder of why the MHz wars ended 6 months ago:
With those speeds, I expect it to fly in general!
- Comment on Roku Issues a Mandatory Terms of Service Update That You Must Agree To or You Can't Use Your Roku | Cord Cutters News 7 months ago:
I truly admire your outlook and appreciate your perspective. For a moment there, I almost felt a spark of motivation. I’m gonna bookmark your comment and return to it from time to time and see how my feelings change. Who knows, you might have said just the right thing to get me back to refusing to constantly dine on corporate shit.
- Comment on Dakota Johnson on ‘Madame Web’ Blowback: “I’ll Never Do Anything Like It Again” 7 months ago:
It was a Will Smith movie about a Superman-like superhero who became reviled and then became a bum. It was exciting because this was during the height of Will Smith’s action career and it would have been the first high-budget serious superhero movie starring a person of color.
The original script reads like pure art and adrenaline from what I remember. The actual movie turned into some shit-fest that made a white PR Rep the main character and then shoehorned some weird love triangle with ancient beings and super-amnesia.
You read that right. Somehow, the first big budget gritty superhero movie starring a black man got turned into a milquetoast semi-rom-com starring a white man as a media specialist with no superpowers.
- Comment on Dakota Johnson on ‘Madame Web’ Blowback: “I’ll Never Do Anything Like It Again” 7 months ago:
Hancock
- Comment on Roku Issues a Mandatory Terms of Service Update That You Must Agree To or You Can't Use Your Roku | Cord Cutters News 7 months ago:
No no no, you misunderstand. I will wholeheartedly support anyone willing to try in any way that I can. I’m tired and I’m just trying to pass the torch.
My point was that some of us have done what we can and are now just painfully yet knowingly accepting shitty terms. I’m not telling anyone else to stop, I’m just asking to acknowledge that some of us need a break without being called willfully ignorant. If you’re still willing to fight, tell me what I can sign, who I can harass, or what I can adopt without pissing off my wife. Until then, I’m just gonna read the contract and then regretfully click “I agree” because I’m too tired to keep doing the research myself.
- Comment on Fired Twitter execs are suing Elon Musk for over $128 million 7 months ago:
2nd richest
- Comment on Roku Issues a Mandatory Terms of Service Update That You Must Agree To or You Can't Use Your Roku | Cord Cutters News 7 months ago:
I read through the whole fucking thing, considered posting it to Lemmy a day or two ago, even considered comparing it to other stream box thingies, and just decided it wasn’t worth it. This fight isn’t going to end because TheFartographer chose to change platforms.
At this point, I know we’re losing and I’m getting really tired of carrying the torch. Ultimately, if I swapped all of our Rokus to anything else, I’d have to deal with my wife being upset that “having a smart house was supposed to be easy, why do you even care about suing Roku?”
Unfortunately, we’re not all as oblivious as you seem to think we are. Some of us have just resigned to failure and are letting the steamroller finally run us over. For some stupid reason, I’m doing it with my eyes wide open.
- Comment on The Unknown: Horror Movie Based on Unofficial Willy Wonka Experience Is in the Works 7 months ago:
Fucking narc. Joke’s on you, I actually pooped my pants while I was waiting for your kid to pull my finger, so I actually wanted to go home anyway!
- Comment on The Unknown: Horror Movie Based on Unofficial Willy Wonka Experience Is in the Works 7 months ago:
You’re, like, the third person to say that to me this week. Look, I promise you, nothing bad will happen, just pull my finger! IT’LL BE FUNNY!
I PROMISE!!!
- Comment on The Unknown: Horror Movie Based on Unofficial Willy Wonka Experience Is in the Works 7 months ago:
Only to stick to my principles, I’ve used AI to generate a response to your comment:
“Ah, fear – my secret weapon. Just kidding, I come in peace!”
Also, I’ve already generated a trailer for my crap-fest idea:
[INTENSE MUSIC BEGINS]
[Opening shot]
The desolate cabin stands amidst the haunting Scottish Highlands, shadows engulfing its very existence.
[Voiceover] “From the depths of despair…”
[Cut to]
JAMES, the tortured illustrator, sketches in darkness, tormented by his son’s tragic end.
[Cut to]
LUCY, eyes filled with sorrow, urges an escape to the remote Highlands.
[Dramatic music intensifies]
[Transition]
The couple arrives, greeted by an eerie mist and an unsettling silence.
[Warehouse scene]
In a dimly lit warehouse, shabby Willy Wonka knockoff props cast grotesque shadows. JAMES and LUCY navigate the eerie space, the air thick with unease.
[Voiceover] “Little did they know, their grief had summoned an unimaginable horror.”
[Cinematic shots]
The Highland landscapes are marred by twisted, unnatural occurrences. Shadows morph into unsettling shapes.
[Sinister whispers]
As the couple ventures further, whispers grow louder, echoing through the desolation.
[Build-up]
The standing stones illuminate with an unnatural glow, revealing a distorted figure resembling their lost son.
[Chilling dialogue]
CHARLIE FIGURE: “Why did you come here?”
[Tense music swells]
[Quick cuts]
Flashes of the warehouse – a disturbing assembly of crude and nightmarish props.
[Voiceover] “Their grief has unlocked something malevolent.”
[Distorted scenes]
Supernatural occurrences intensify, flickering lights casting eerie shadows on grotesque Willy Wonka knockoffs.
[Closing shot]
The couple faces the unearthly force in the warehouse, a battleground of nightmares.
[CLOSING TITLE]
“In the Highlands, darkness takes many forms. Can love survive the unknowable?”
[INTENSE MUSIC FADES OUT]
- Comment on The Unknown: Horror Movie Based on Unofficial Willy Wonka Experience Is in the Works 7 months ago:
I want the whole thing to be written, storyboarded, directed, and edited by AI with real actors, real vfx teams, and top notch voice actors for whatever animated nightmare I assume is gonna get shoehorned into the story.
Any notes from the production company have to be approved by ai.
- Comment on Inside the Coyote vs. Acme Rollercoaster From a Voice Actor at the Front of the Campaign to Save It 7 months ago:
WB doesn’t give two fucks about the quality of their content, they just want to be able to make cheap fucking money. Toys, theaters, or tax write-offs. If it’s not gonna end up making bookoos of cash in theaters or off the toy shelf, they have no problem dumping bathtubs, babies n’ all.
Discovery-Warner/HBO/wtf-they-are-now will gladly tell artists to get fucked for a tax write-off. Based on how much beloved shit they’ve been using to feed the flames of their eternal dumpster-fire, I’m pretty sure that their C-suite considers shitting on artists a job benefit.
- Comment on Richard Lewis Dies: Beloved Comic, ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Actor Was 76 7 months ago:
This was exactly my first thought. I was gonna say “he had a mole,” but I was worried about starting rumors about cancer.
- Comment on Richard Lewis Dies: Beloved Comic, ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Actor Was 76 7 months ago:
Thank you and sorry that whooshed right under the joke
- Comment on Richard Lewis Dies: Beloved Comic, ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Actor Was 76 7 months ago:
God damnit, I forgot about that
- Comment on Richard Lewis Dies: Beloved Comic, ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Actor Was 76 7 months ago:
He died of a heart attack. My dad woke my mom up early one morning and told her they needed to go to the hospital; she quickly got ready and then he fell over dead just before they reached the garage. These things don’t always show very obvious symptoms. Go to your doctor, get yourself checked out before you’re another person whose family has to keep hearing “I didn’t even know they were sick.”
- Comment on What the hell! Let's all just go crazy! 10 months ago:
i-sand… is-and… isund? iand? Ok, I give up, how are you supposed to pronounce it without the L?
- Comment on What the hell! Let's all just go crazy! 10 months ago:
How the fuck am I supposed to eat soup with all of these bent-ass spoons?!
- Comment on What the hell! Let's all just go crazy! 10 months ago:
Laowguh-hhhh
- Comment on Why are there circles of melted snow on this icy pond? 10 months ago:
I definitely enjoyed the lolz, just figured I’d go for the low-hanging fruit before anyone could beat me to it.
- Comment on Why are there circles of melted snow on this icy pond? 10 months ago:
Huh… Like off a key or a line or something? Also… Why?