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Survive the zombie apocalypse

⁨332⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨balderdash9@lemmy.zip⁩ to ⁨lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world⁩

https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/8561f977-5a51-4449-ba77-cd0c4e2db4e8.webp

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Comments

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  • barttier@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    1. Flashlight - to find my shotgun in the dark.

    2. Shotgun - Im going to cobain me out of this shit

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    • Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      2 picks gang!

      Machete & motorbike.

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    • Shiggles@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Don’t forget the video camera to film it, then you can pick one item of your choice to be your loot drop for finding the set piece you just made in a left4dead level.

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  • GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Katana - because katana

    First aid kit - for accidental cuts from katana

    Flashlight - to see how much I’m bleeding

    Two-man tent - place to swing katana in a way that will end up cutting me

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    • Colorcodedresistor@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      dedicated to Rule 32 “enjoy the little things”

      respect.

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  • I_Has_A_Hat@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Why is a bike not on this list? Fuck a vehicle that needs gas, give me some pedal powe.

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    • dirtydan@iusearchlinux.fyi ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Never understood that about the walking dead. Gasoline stops being vital after 3-6 months, so years into the apocalypse and everyone’s driving cars, and Daryl has that sweet frankenbike. What are those things running on?

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      • AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Gas is no longer in prime condition after 3-6 months, but is still combustible for at least a year or two. Old gas will damage your engine over time though. Most of the degradation is due to oxidization, so if the gas were in sealed cans, maybe it could last longer.

        But yeah, 5+ years in and most gas is unlikely to work in an engine. You’d have to be making some kind of bio-ethanol at that point.

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    • Chee_Koala@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      plot twist, the jeep is electric and there is a spinner-bike in the back you can use to charge it with. Only four short days of pedaling will get you 100 miles!

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  • KISSmyOS@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’ll take a foldable solar panel, a tablet PC with its entire storage full of porn, and the dog.
    Everything else I need I’ll trade in exchange for a half hour in my dog-guarded porn booth.

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    • barttier@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Phew. For a second I was concerned for the dog. The internet is a dark place

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      • 0x4E4F@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Yeah, I was wondering why there was no peanut butter in the mix 🤣.

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    • SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You could instead have a solar panel, light laptop with lots of nudes, and a printer. Source out the ink and paper from office buildings and trade nudes for stuff.

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      • KISSmyOS@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        For that, I’d have to go into office buildings regularly, and they were full of zombies even before the apocalypse.

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    • EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Solar panel’s not on there.

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      • KISSmyOS@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I know. So I take the dog and the Jeep x3, and sell the three Jeeps to some idiots while the gas still isn’t spoiled.

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  • AnAngryAlpaca@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Zomebie outbreak and owning a jeep? Now you got two problems!

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    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      And both problems is the jeep?

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  • Colorcodedresistor@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    1. flashlight.
    2. two man tent
    3. water purifier.
    4. fire axe.

    the rest of the options rely on condition factors. is your German shepherd a dunce or fully trained? night vision goggles demand batteries, guns need ammo. dehydration and exposure are the real killers.

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    • problematicPanther@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Modern jeeps require regular part swaps every few weeks

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    • Risk@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’d swap the flashlight for the body armour - easier to find a flashlight out and about.

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      • Demuniac@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I’d argue you might need a flashlight to find a flashlight but most homes will at least have a small version that will suffice

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    • 0x4E4F@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I was thinking about the german shepherd… regardless if it’s trained or not, it’s a liability, it might become a zombie too.

      And I chose the AK-47 because I thought it came with at least 1 round of ammo 🤷.

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      • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I like the idea of everything is best-case. So a trained pup, a loaded gun with couple of boxes of spare ammo, a new jeep with a full tank, etc.

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  • Nutteman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    4 German shepards for having sex with (i am a white woman from the American south)

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    • SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I was going to say 4 German shepherds for more innocent reasons, but now my answer would be overshadowed be yours

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    • Kraivo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Unless some gets fucked before getting fucked

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  • grue@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    LOL, imagine thinking a motorcycle or jeep would do you any damn good (especially after the gas you can siphon from abandoned cars has gone bad), when what you really need is a bicycle. Bikepackers and touring cyclists will be the kings of the apocalypse.

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    • youstolemyname@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The Jeep will break down before running out of gas anyways

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    • Deuces@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m assuming there’s a lot of chaos in the immediate aftermath. I know the Jeep is only useful for 72 hours or so, but those are the most deadly 72 hours of the whole thing and the closer I can get to having a tank for them, the happier I am.

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      • Shiggles@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The earlier in the apocalypse, the more panicking humans running around, so you’re absolutely correct there. Unfortunately, depending on where you live and how early you realize what’s happening, the roads might be utterly jammed with no hope of getting away from population centers. The bike would be less of a tank, but you’ll almost certainly make it farther - but is that any good? Unless you’re confident in your ability to go full bear grylls, it might be best to just hunker down and make as little noise as possible for that initial pandemonium.

        I’d probably stay clear of basically anywhere that you’d wanna go in an apocalypse for those 72 hours, because everybody else has the same idea. Find somewhere with a second story, block or preferably destroy the staircase, and stay as quiet as possible while scavenging what you can.

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    • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’d still say the Jeep is better shelter than the tent, though not as portable.

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    • Cypher@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      There are diesel Kawasaki KLR motorcycles that will run on literally anything, not that they’re very fast but they would at least preserve your stamina for when you need it.

      They’re also extremely robust and simple to repair.

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    • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Assuming best case scenario (a new jeep is shat into my driveway with a full tank of gas) I think the jeep is a MASSIVE boon. It increases movement ability and hauling capacity, and can be used to clear many obstacles you’d otherwise have to go around. Is its life finite? Yes, but it’ll give you that leg up at the start of the situation that may very well set you up for success long term.

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      • grue@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        and can be used to clear many obstacles you’d otherwise have to go around.

        I’m having trouble imagining any obstacle a Jeep could clear that a mountain bike couldn’t, but no trouble at all imagining the opposite.

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  • Smokeydope@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Water purifier - clean water is almost essential for health

    Fire Axe - for fire wood collection as well as wood based structures for shelter and defense. Also it is a decent weapon that takes relatively little skill to effectively wield.

    German Shepard - loyal companionship, will instinctively assist in protection/attacking and could be trained to track game

    Body armor - reduces risk of infection through scratches to body as well as mild protection against various weapons.

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  • curiousPJ@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    4 video cameras. I shall trade for all the above with the only source of amateur pornography.

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    • INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’ll pick the dog and we can team up

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      • EvilEyedPanda@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It’ll be the internet 2.0

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  • Lepsea@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Almost nobody picks the katana. Even the people who pick it mocking the sword!

    I can’t really blame them because they didn’t give you the option to pick the complete set for the katana to shine. If you use it with fedora you can teleport behind the zombies and kill them!

    Nobody knows that the katana has this hidden skill bonus if you use it with fedora because this hidden mechanic only passed to the few chosen people in the secret society hidden under the house that people like to call “the basement”

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    • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Man, the katana would be a great pick if there wasn’t two better melee options that’ll outlast the katana and offer more utility.

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    • reeen@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I considered the katana since they’re great for cutting exposed areas but honestly I’d rather just sharpen a long stick

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      • RealFknNito@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        If we’re going on “brain damage to kill” rules you’re going to need to clean sweep their head off or find a way to the brain. As cool as it is, that’s a big ask for something designed for one swift body shot. I’d look for the spear since it’s the most effective peasant weapon and be real, we’re all about peasant skilled.

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  • UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Is the German Shepard a rescue? Anyway that and the camcorder. I’m making cute dog videos

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    • _TheThunderWolf_@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Username checks out

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  • Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Gas will expire eventually and you could just hotwire one of the many abandoned cars anyways, if the roads aren’t blocked by said cars. Bullets will run out unless you find a gun shop, in which case you get guns anyways. Water purifying is easy enough to do without a machine.

    My picks would be German Shepherd, Axe, First Aid, and Radio.

    There’s a reason we domesticated dogs, they are useful in so many different ways like hunting, defense, and security (and companionship). Especially German Shepherds, you can see the damage they do when used by police.

    Axes are survivalist 101 and some are practically multi tools despite being simple.

    First Aid because infections, zombie or not, are the real killers throughout history.

    The radio’s more of a gamble, but it’s your best chance to find a new settlement, monke strong together and all that. Also you can maybe stay informed on what’s happening in other parts of the country. (And it lets me flex my Amateur Radio License).

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    • buzz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Problem with dogs - they need to be fed.

      Its a relatively recent development that u can just walk into the supermarket and buy a bag of dog food that will last a month, u won’t have that in the wild - how u gonna feed the dog?

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      • Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I feel the tracking and hunting capabilities of a dog will more than make up for what they need to eat.

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    • curiousaur@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I think I’d take the night vision goggles over the radio. You’re much more likely to find a radio. Situational awareness at night will be a huge survival factor.

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  • PowerGloveSoBad@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Four chain saws

    come at me bro

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    • olafurp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Two for the hands and one for the head?

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      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        One for both heads

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  • zaphod@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Body armor, first aid kit, machete, water purifier.

    If you choose anything that requires fuel or electricity/batteries you’re fucked.

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    • danielbln@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Good luck on foot, brah. I’ll be taking the jeep and hose-sucking fuel where needed. Provides shelter, warmth, storage.

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      • Adalast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        He’s right, unless you study up on making biodiesel. Then you have the upper hand in the argument, as a diesel Jeep can be run on biodiesel. Rendering those fatty zombie corpses to fuel should be a functional disposal method.

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    • Adalast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m swapping the first-aid kit for the crossbow, but spot on for the rest. Body armor is rare and definitely raises your odds of survival in the short term after the initial spread. A machete is the ultimate all-purpose blade, good for defense as well as butchering, breeching, and it is easily maintained. And the water purifier is a no-brainer. Waterborn diseases are a real problem in any situation where public utilities become inaccessible and clean drinking water grows scarce.

      Assuming that I am obviously able to expand my kit as I survive, the ranged weapon that uses easily craftable ammo would be ideal. A first aid kit could be cobbled together over the course of a few days of persistent scavenging. No promises on the crossbow, they are far less common than bandaids, gauze, sterilization solutions, and splints. Really the thing that would likely be the hardest to source is the suture needle that you should have in there.

      I always loved 10k in Z-Nation for using the wrist rocket slingshot because that is truly the king ranged weapon for a survival scenario. Lightweight, ammo that is infinite and easily accessible, and lethal out to ranges that matter. Not to mention that they are very easy to maintain and repair.

      All that said, I would likely accumulate the aforementioned electricity/fuel items as I am familiar with the production of biofuels and can build some alternative generators (wind, methane, solar concentrators) for electricity once I have somewhere secure. Methane in particular has always been attractive to me for survival scenarios because anaerobic decomposition is a great way of dealing with biowaste and what is left over ends up making really good fertilizer. Just need a couple of propane tanks, some steel, and a car battery to rig as a welder and you can turn one into a digestor and the other into storage, then get a couple 2 cycle lawnmower engines and some AC motors and you can get a power supply running. At least enough to run some incandescent bulbs. Need a voltage regulator for more complex electronics to keep the line clean, but that is a different conversation.

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      • CulturedLout@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I picked the same you did, but I don’t know that I’d consider useable arrows easily craftable. Maybe if you had something pre-made for shafts?

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    • phoneymouse@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What’s the body armor for? Zombies will bite you on the neck.

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      • zaphod@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I don’t have a PhD in zombiology but zombies will bite you wherever they can. Depending on what kind of zombies we’re talking about a bite alone might turn you or not. So body armor could be useful for some kinds of zombies and utterly useless for others.

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      • AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It’s good for general protection too. It can soften blows from other humans or just accidental injury while scavenging dilapidated buildings. What we consider to be minor bumps and scrapes now can be life threatening when you have inadequate medical supplies, malnutrition, sleep deprived, no sanitation, etc.

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    • Slagathor@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      A motorcycle could get you out of the city/infected zone pretty fast though. Not a bad choice.

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      • phoneymouse@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        True and all the road will be blocked with traffic, so you can lane split with the motorcycle.

        Problem is you’re sleeping in the open air unless you grab the tent. Also can’t really build a collection of supplies.

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    • Maggoty@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Eh, batteries aren’t hard to charge as long as it’s a small item like a flashlight.

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  • FrankTheHealer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Water purifier: you need water to live. Otherwise you’ll die in 3 days.

    Jeep: While not the most reliable, they can go off-road and can also be a source of shelter in lieu of a house or tent.

    AK: Extremely reliable and easy to service. 7.62 ammo can be harder to come by depending on where you live, but regardless, the AK is a solid weapon.

    Fire Axe: Good for chopping down trees, cracking heads or breaking down doors. The practicality is what makes it the better option

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  • EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    • Armor, provided it comes with a helmet & is bite-/scratch-resistant
    • Doggo, because sensing danger is important & loneliness would almost be a bigger killer than zombies,
    • Machete, as a tool & method of defense
    • Water purifier, provided it doesn’t require an outlet of some kind
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  • Sidyctism@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Camera, motorcycle, ak-47, radio

    I call this loadout “twitch streamer of the apocalypse”

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  • Caitlynn@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    My beloved crobaw didnt even make the list :(

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  • TheControlled@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I read Max Brook’s “Zombie Survival Guide” and “World War Z”. The choice is very clear for me. Armor, suppressed pistol, machete, purifier.

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  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Dog, car, motorcycle, radio. Zombie apocalypses ain’t shit, I live in America. One dude is gonna bite someone and get turned into pink mist by every nearby CCW dude. Those would all be cool to have when we start rebuilding in a week

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  • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Which four will I be least likely to kill myself by tripping over in the night?

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  • Zozano@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Depends where you live. A lot of this stuff can be acquired afterwards.

    As an Aussie, firearms are very hard to come across. Also, I’ve never fired a gun before, so I would pick the shotgun because I know my terrible aim would be mitigated somewhat.

    Water purifier. Duh.

    Fire axe. Utility + weapon.

    Tent. I live close to nature, so my game plan is to stock up on nonperishables and go camp for as long as I can, and hope that the zombies have thinned out by the time I need to start savaging

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  • 768@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Why AK-47? 7.62 × 39 mm would be kinda hard to loot for this audience.

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  • SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    • Water purifier because I need water!!!
    • first aid kit because not having a first aid kit is a very stupid idea
    • flashlight because I will need to find my way through the many empty building and shit
    • machete because it is quite useful as both a tool and weapon
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  • Pappabosley@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Shotgun, ak-47, pistol, katana. I don’t want to live long term in a zombie apocalypse, just need the firepower for a bit of fun before I go. After I run out of ammo for the shotgun and the AK, I use the pistol to kill myself - the katana is just in case I get caught short at close range

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  • NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How much ammo does each gun have

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  • AnarchistsForDemocracy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    First Aid Kit, CB Radio, Water Purifier and Flashlight

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  • Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Flashlight, machete, first aid, water purifier.

    Vehicles require fuel, and weapons require ammo. I dont know why I’d need a gas mask either.

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  • brianrlawson@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Fast zombies or slow zombies?

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